Pilot Wife Law #4356: When the Pilot is away, someone is going to get sick!

Ugh!  This is the Pilot Wife Law that I absolutely hate!  It never fails that the day the pilot is supposed to fly out, someone in the house is going to get sick.  However, in my case, it was all three children at.the.same.time!  Yes, you heard me — THREE children.  I’m talking about ear infections, croup cough, snotty nose — you name it and that germ took up residence in my house.  And the pilot, well he just jet-setted himself right outta here without a second thought.

Now, you may think I’m being a little hard on the pilot, BUT he NEVER has to deal with this type of situation.  Don’t worry - eventually I’ll start my list of “events that the pilot never has to deal with!”  But, that’s a whole other post in and of itself! 

I’d like to take a moment and thank the makers of Infant/Children’s Tylenol and Ibuprofen — mama finally got some sleep.  After a good dose of some antibiotics, my girls (atleast two of them) seem to be on the mend — just in time for the pilot to fly back in.

In other happenings, I’ve been diligently working — in my spare time — to update this site, the private site and schedule an event or two.  I’m excited to bring back Pilot Wives Club “Girls Night In”.  If you’re a new member to the site, you’ve just GOT to attend.  I can’t disclose the happenings of the previous events . . . however, let’s just say that some people may or may not drink too much wine and act a little silly during chat!  In any case, it’s great fun and you get to know quite a few pilot wives.  Check out the private site for details. 

Well . . . I hear a coughing child that I must attend to.  Y’all pray for me!

Hang In There!

When I first became aware of pilot wives, as a group of women, I knew I technically belonged, but I wasn’t sure if I was fully considered a “pilot’s wife” in the same sense as most of the other women here. After all, my husband went to work every morning at the local airport, flew around on little prop planes, and came home again at the end of the day. He wasn’t a captain or a first officer; he didn’t fly for a regional or a major; there were never any long commutes or trips away from home for days. He was a corporate pilot for a small company, flying around South Texas. Or he was a charter pilot flying tourists to the beaches in Costa Rica. Or he was a Chief Flight Instructor flying circuits around a tiny airport in China.

There’s nothing wrong with any of that, in fact I believe that we lived and breathed aviation far more than those in the airline lifestyle. Still, when I told people my husband was a pilot, they’d immediately ask, “Oh yeah? Which airline?” or “You get free tickets, right?” or “How exciting for him to fly those big airplanes.” They always looked at me funny when I explained it wasn’t like that. It does seem that those outside the industry consider being an airline captain as the pinnacle of the pilot career, when in fact there are many roles and paths in aviation, all desirable depending on our individual goals and desires.

Flying for the airlines was never my husband’s dream. He knew it would be difficult for him to do so – a non-US citizen with a FAA license; a European without a JAA license. So we’ve done the best we could and had some amazing experiences. We’ve survived the post 9/11 downturn and the recent recession. All it comes down to is that he just wanted to fly and I have supported him nonstop in his dream – even moving to China to do so. I did this without hesitation, craving a bit of adventure of my own. At this point there’s no place I wouldn’t go, except for maybe Iraq or Afghanistan.

So even though we’ve persevered, the last year has been discouraging and daunting as we searched for an “upgrade” in jobs. My husband, with his 15 years of experience and 4000+ hours, just didn’t seem to have the right passport or the right type of hours or the right type rating, etc. We were fairly close to just throwing in the towel on our expat aviation career and applying for a green card to the US, where he might be able to find a regional first officer position.

Then it happened. Out of the blue. Which is why I’m here to say to all those wives out there in a position similar to mine – don’t give up! Hang in there! Last month a Chinese friend mentioned to his acquaintance, a pilot for a business aviation company, that he knew a foreign pilot with Chinese licenses who was looking for a new position. Within a few weeks my husband was offered a great job – a first officer on a business jet with the possibility of cross-training on the Airbus A318 Elite. He’ll be flying businessmen and wealthy clients across Asia.

I’m still not an “airline pilot’s wife,” but I might have to start dealing with some of the scheduling issues that concern so many of you. We’ll be relocating to Beijing. While that might sound challenging and/or scary, keep in mind we’ve been living the past 4 1/2 years in rural China, where it’s hard to even buy a cup of coffee. Beijing is like New York City to us! I couldn’t be more excited.

Contributed by Heather, a “regular” in the Pilot Wives Club. You can check out her blog at http://global-gal.com/ Thanks, Heather, for sharing your non-airline story and letting us know there IS another side to aviation!

The importance of wind…

I came across this quote while researching other quotes to include in a project I am working on…

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” ~ Henry Ford

Being married to a pilot, I felt it rather poignant since my life is steeped in aviation…

I feel the need to expand on this quote. So, here’s my take on it -

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. Sometimes the wind changes directions and comes at you from the side and the ditch on the side of the runway is waiting to swallow you up. Even if you do get in the air, the wind will try to push you off course. It takes great skill and determination to overcome the crosswind and fly.

Taking the wind analogy a little further, we can say that sometimes the wind changes directions and comes at you from behind, seeming to travel with you, but throwing you off your rhythm. This sudden change can even flip you over if you are not prepared.

A day with no wind is a joy. You can accomplish the act of flight with little effort. You don’t get knocked around in turbulence. You can sit back and enjoy the ride.

On the other hand, there is the challenge that comes from flying on a windy day. When you meet the wind head on, the airplane jumps at the opportunity to get in the air. Trusting in your abilities, you will be surprised at how fast you climb! It may not be entirely comfortable, but you can take heart in knowing you accomplished something that most cannot or will not do. You flew!

As pilot wives, we handle our fair share of adversity. We learn to live independent lives when our pilots are away. We learn to incorporate our pilots back into our lives when they return. We raise our children mostly alone. We sometimes go through life’s events (births/deaths) alone. We cope with the loneliness and the feeling of being overwhelmed. It is not an easy life. But we take a page from the flight training guide that was shared with us by our pilots - point the nose into the wind and fly!

The ABC’s of Being a Pilot’s Wife

As we have shared many times before, being a pilot’s wife can be challenging, to say the least. However, our pilot wives have compiled the ABC’s of being a Pilot’s Wife. Remember, this is all in good fun and at the end of the day, we love and support each and every one of our pilots.

A - Adapatable - a pilot’s wife’s life is never stable. Pilot schedules are given on a monthly basis, furloughs happen and situations/issues are always coming up. A good pilot wife must always be able to adapt to these situations all while exhibiting the utmost grace and style.

B - Budget-conscious - He probably is paying back student loans, which will put a damper on the family budget.  He won’t be home to pay the bills, so you’ll have to make sure that everything is paid on time.  He’ll live on pretzels and peanuts, but somehow find it necessary to splurge on the latest and greatest cellphone.

C - Calm- Situations will arise that you have no control over. Plans may change at a moment’s notice. Things may happen at home you have to deal with and make do by yourself. It is important to remain calm, cool and collected (look there’s three C’s!). Don’t freak out over the small stuff.

D - Devoted - Crazy schedules, terrible pay, long hours, nights alone — only a wife that is truly devoted to her husband could put up with these conditions.

E - Envy - sitting on a balcony overlooking the ocean in Hawaii is something ANYONE would be envious of. That is a perk of flying!

F - Flexible - What? You won’t be home for Christmas? You got JA’d an hour before my surgery? You have to go for a week of training when? Where? Your crew base is moving to WHERE? When are we moving? When are we moving again? Can you call in sick for my due date? What if I am a week overdue? Honey, my water just broke, where are you?

G - Grateful - Grateful he finally came home and sometimes grateful he finally leaving again.

H - Humbled - As incredibly difficult it can be to be a pilots wife for all the reasons you all have stated - I always try to remember, my children and I have always had a roof over our head (although sometimes barely); we have food everyday (although there were times that barely happened too); and every night we have always had a bed and warm place to sleep at night and my husband is doing the job he loves. Okay….when we get to “S” sign me up for stressed!

I - Independent - You mean, I live half of my life alone? I got married but you are gone 50% of the time?!!! Guess I’ll have to entertain myself while you are away.

J - Jealous - He gets to actually take a shower and eat dinner by himself!!!

K - Kissable - Always be the one he wants to come home to… The one he can’t wait to kiss when he gets home…

L - Long Distance - You’re going to be gone how long? Having no idea when you’ll be able to work a rendezvous between your schedules, missing him the whole time.

M - Money - or the lack of - Ladies let’s tell the world the REAL truth - contrary to popular belief, pilots are not “rolling in the dough”.

N - Numbers - The amount of numbers these guys retain is amazing! From runways, heading and altitudes, to tail number and go times. How about converting temperatures from C to F? Or remembering the seat number of a famous celebrity on their flight. These guys can sure hold their numbers.

O - Online - Communication is the key word in any relationship, but even more when you are married to a pilot! When he is away communicating with him by email, phone, fax or pigeon - it is a must!

P - Patience - We need an endless supply to deal with the flight delays/cancellations/schedule problems/vacation issues/etc… Not to mention his “extra-curricular activities” that sometimes take him even further away from family time (like RC planes/helicopters, personal aircraft, computers, etc)… I know I am constantly praying for more patience…

Q - Quick - Flight delays, weather delays, it seems like pilots are always hurrying and scurrying. Schedules are so unpredictable, that you may or may not get a sizable amount of time with your man. Only 36 hours till he leaves again? Better get in all the fix-it stuff at home, visit all the extended family, and try to fit in some alone time.

R - Reserve - Being a new First Officer or even a new Captain, being on reserve or “On call” is totally normal. Getting a line is really something to celebrate!

S - Strong - enough said right? We deal with a lot of up and downs, happiness and craziness. However, it’s not just about us; it’s also about our husbands. We must be strong for them and make sure they’re aware that we are with them on this wild airplane ride through life. Being there and being strong for each other is a must.

T - Trust - There is no way a pilot’s wife can survive without trust — seriously, you’d run yourself crazy. The job of a pilot keeps him away from his wife and in questionable situations quite often. However, the best pilot wife must trust her pilot — there is no other choice. Trust him and the vows that you both made to each other - those will hold you together while you are apart.

U - Uniform - They do look sexy, don’t they?

V - Valuable - So many things in this industry is valuable. The limited valuable time spent together as a family. The valuable training. The valuable lessons learned from each mishap.

W - Worry - All the time! Every time there’s news on tv of a crash, bankruptcy, change in the business, etc. Worrying about whether he’ll make it home on time for something important. Worrying about how to parent all by yourself. Worrying about everything!

X - Xeric - If you get transferred to PHX (I hope)?? Hey, don’t judge! You try to find a word that relates and starts with an X . . .

Y - Yo-yo - Like a yo-yo our pilots are always going out and back from hub to outstation to hub.

Z - Zulu - As pilot wives we MUST know what this refers to… Sometimes, my husband and I refer to zulu time more than local time. Maybe that’s why pilot watches have so many time settings… at least one of them will be zulu!

So, there you have it . . . compiled by the best pilot wives in the world! Got any new ones to add, feel free to leave them in the comments.

**All comments must be approved. This is a g-rated site, keep it clean or it will be deleted. This is my site and I reserve the right to approve and decline comments as I see fit.**