Petitioning for a Day Off

My husband, like so many pilots, is a double pilot. Double pilot? What’s that you ask - you’ve never heard of that?!? Well, that’s because I’m making up my own pilot’s wife lingo.

We kindly interrupt this blog post for a Pilot’s Wife Lingo lesson . . . (que chessey gameshow music)

Double Pilot is a pilot who works two jobs. Example, My husband teaches flight instruction for the military and also flies commercially.

Ok, now that we’re on the same page . . . where was I? Oh yes, double pilot. My husband is a double pilot. What’s my point? I guess my point is that we NEVER have a day off. He’s my relief - so if he never has a day off, well, then neither do I.  When he’s not flying commercially, he’s flying for the military. His days off from his commercial job are spent serving our country teaching flight students how to fly helicopters. Which, I could say, is admirable. However, I am the wife behind the pilot who desperately needs a DAY off. While I am super blessed to have the opportunity to stay home and parent our three children, I also wear many, many, many hats. And my job . . . well, it almost NEVER involves sitting in a restuarant ALONE enjoying a nice quiet dinner. Heck, I’m lucky most days to get to have a sit down dinner. Three children under the age of five years old — now that’s a handful and half. And if I’m being honest, I rarely complain. I usually suck it up and go about my business, swirling in the mass chaos that IS my life, trying to get an unimaginable, impossible amount of tasks completed. But today, ladies . . . TODAY is my day when I just about snapped. Today is the day when I realized my human constraints. Today is the day that I realized I CAN’T do it all. And I’m mad. I’m “spit fire” mad. Because I don’t want help. I don’t want to ask anyone for help. I want to be able to “do it all”. I mean, isn’t that what were expected to do? I guess going from a working environment to being at home, I’ve just never adjusted to that scenario very well. And I do so much here, that the pilot, well . . . he’s come to expect a lot. Everytime I push myself and I do more, more becomes expected. Not only from him, but from others.

What’s the solution, you ask? Well, I’m doing some soul searching. I’m going to do some list building. And I’m going to start setting realistic goals for myself. Some things are going to fall by the way side and that’s just going to have to be the way it is for now. Unless someone has some sort of secret about cloning.

Tell me ladies, anyone else ever had this feeling? And if so, how did you organize the chaos?

Stay tuned for more of my infinite wisdom . . . I’m sure there is more to come.  Lucky you!

Being Alone Without Being Lonely . . .

As a pilot wife, many days are spent apart from the man I love. In the beginning of our relationship, the hardest thing for me to accept wasn’t the crazy schedule or the temptation or trust issues or the instability of the airline industry . . . it was being alone.

When I first met my husband, I was a successful career woman. I enjoyed working outside of the home. I worked out at the gym three times a week. I kept my schedule busy with after work activities with friends and co-workers. As some would say, “Life was good”.  ***Enter extremely handsome commercial airline pilot***  And my world . . . well, it just got all complicated. You see, the more time I spent around him, the more time I wanted with him. I think that naturally happens in any relationship whether you’re dating a pilot or not. However, here is the challenge with dating a pilot.  He’s home for one or two days and then gone for four, five or even six days. And then he might be home a few more days. But only to leave again for days or even weeks. And guess what . . . just when you think you’ve adjusted to that schedule, the new month rolls over and the schedule changes. To say having a relationship with him was challenging is a huge understatement. It’s hard to get accustomed to having someone there all of the time, only to have them up and leave for days or even weeks at a time. But after a year of dating, I married that man — unpredictable schedule and all. I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did. However, don’t think that just because we became husband and wife, all our issues were resolved. The nights are lonely and most times it’s “dinner for one”.  Throw a few children into the mix and you’re a single parent most of the time.

So, how do you keep from being lonely when you’re alone so much? Well, here are just a few of the ways I keep myself busy while the pilot is away:

1) The gym is your friend - Not only will you keep yourself fit, but you’ll keep your mind and emotions healthy too! Exercise is great for the mind and body. 

2) Read, read & read - Take advantage of the time alone to get into a good book and spend countless hours reading it. Many towns also have book clubs. It’s a great way to make new friends and read a good book at the same time.

3) Get plugged in at church - Many churches have tons of activities going on throughout the week. Connect with a group in your church, make friends and participate in activities.

4) Shop til you drop - now, I know my husband will not want this to be on the list, but take some time to shop - even if it’s just window shopping. Most men don’t want to accompany their wives to shop so take advantage of this alone time to get yourself a new wardrobe.

5) Train for a 5K - Running can be therpeutic. Take some time to release some of the work week’s stress by running out your frustrations.

6) Volunteer - this is one of my favorites. Remember, it’s not all about you! Take some time to volunteer at the local Salvation Army or any local charity. You’ll keep yourself busy and you’ll feel better helping someone else in need.

7)  Find a hobby - For me, blogging became a way for me to connect with other people when the pilot was away.  And for him, he was able to read what was going on at home while he was working.  It was a win/win solution for the both of us!

And . . . for my final way to keep from being lonely while the pilot is away . . .

Children- Ok, so I didn’t have children to end my loneliness. However, it totally worked! As a mother of three children under the age of five, I can say that I’m too tired to ever feel lonely!! *Be sure to consult your pilot before using this method as a cure for loneliness*

So ladies . . . sound off! How do you keep from being lonely when the pilot is away?  I’d love to add some new activities to the list!

Until next time, keep the wheels down and leave the flying to him!